Ignorance is Bliss
by soul vacation
Summary: Asuma muses on his one-sided fancy concerning his favorite lazy genin. (AsumaShikamaru, one shot)


_Ignorance is Bliss_

There was probably something wrong with a man his age obsessing over a boy who could, if you stretched feasibility just a bit, be his son. No, in fact, he knew there was something more than a little off, but it was the strangest thing. Try as he might, he couldn't repress the jealous lurch that gripped him every time that blue-eyed girl glanced his way. It was a gut-reaction, almost instinct, and he couldn't control it. 

Yes, there was something very wrong with him. When his judgment day came, hell would drag him to its fiery depths, but until then, he was free to do as he pleased, at least as far as decorum allowed. He could never let anyone know, of course. They would all have to consider him smitten with Kurenai, or else he would no doubt be turned from society, shunned, and stripped of any chance of ever being a jounin-sensei again. 

One little boy with lazy eyes and a petulant mouth had done this to him. It was rather amazing. 

For the longest time, Asuma had considered himself an asexual being of sorts. He had never had even a passing interest in the girls he knew, least of all Kurenai, whom he considered more of a sister than anything else. It had never occurred to him to turn to men for that sort of satisfaction, either, as the thought of being a homosexual wasn't one that anyone had ever expressed to him. Had they, Asuma would have just pushed it aside, as he did everything else that he didn't care to explore. 

Life was so much easier when you dismissed the unpleasant things. It annoyed a lot of people, but he was of a disposition where that didn't bother him. He only faced disagreeable things when there was no possible recourse from it. Asuma had never encountered any serious problems in his life, due largely to his philosophy on problems. 

Then he had met Shikamaru. 

That boy was a problem waiting to happen. 

Blunt fingers rose to his lips and slipped a cigarette between them as he watched his cell interact through bored, lidded eyes. No one ever suspected that he regarded Shikamaru with any interest aside from as his 'favorite' pupil. 

That was just as well. He didn't care to defend himself on any accusations of that sort. It would take energy that he didn't feel like expending to come up with a state of mind that would be adequate for a deception of that caliber. 

Besides, his interest in Shikamaru was more of a fancy than anything else. He didn't intent to ever act on it, and he certainly wasn't the sort of man who would purposefully solicit the attentions of a twelve year-old. That would be wrong. 

Exhaling in a slow, steady stream, his gaze followed Ino as she dropped one foot heavily on the table, making a fist and shaking it at Shikamaru. He had said something to set her off again, which was admittedly not difficult. There were times he wondered if Ino just reacted to keep his attention longer than a few passing seconds. Shikamaru had a mind that was easily bored, and since Ino was a simple girl who could be predicted easily, he wouldn't put it past her. 

Hell, he couldn't even blame her for it. There weren't many boys like Shikamaru. In fact, he sincerely doubted she could dig one up if she searched the rest of the country. It made sense for her to try to hook her claws in him while she could. 

Flicking the edge of his cigarette, he shrugged mentally and focused his eyes elsewhere. Griping about Ino, even in his mind, was highly unproductive. As her sensei, he had an obligation to train her and try to help her improve as surely as he did either of the boys. Chouji was a lost cause, he could see that, but that still wasn't an excuse to the neglect the two of them. 

Despite that, Asuma knew he paid more attention to Shikamaru than he did the other children in his cell. It was natural. The boy was a genius, had the capacity to be an excellent shinobi if he applied himself, and aside from both of those, he had the good sense and heart to be a leader. There weren't many boys you could find those traits in. 

It was his duty as a teacher to nurture those qualities and extract from him the best that he could possibly be. No one would ever slap him with censure for that. 

Had they known the thoughts that occasionally passed his mind in regards to Shikamaru, well... 

He would certainly be relieved of his position as a teacher if anyone ever knew that he found Shikamaru a little bit appealing on more than a platonic level. 

Shifting so that stress was relieved from his lower back, Asuma sank lower into his indolent position, a contented expression settling across his face. Missions when training genin were often rather boring and therefore irritating, so Asuma enjoyed these periods of relaxation greatly. Perhaps the only thing more satisfying would be an evening in a hot spring, and he intended to indulge in one of those soon. 

His peaceful reverie was abruptly interrupted by the high-pitched shriek of his only female student. 

Cracking open one eye, he sighed in mild annoyance as Ino punched Shikamaru hard in the shoulder, her face the epitome of rage. 

"Don't say things like that about Sasuke-kun!" 

Rolling his eyes heavenward, Asuma mentally petitioned God for patience. He was about as sick of the dark eyed, brooding Uchiha boy as he knew Shikamaru was. It didn't help that Ino was constantly comparing her cellmates to Sasuke, though Chouji less than Shikamaru. 

There weren't many parallels you could draw between his chubby student and Uchiha Sasuke. 

It probably wouldn't be wise to let Ino work herself into another snit, so he pinned her with a brief look and said blandly, "You're upsetting my digestion, Ino. Try to keep it down." 

The young blond rounded on him and raised both her fists, her chin jerking outward as a stubborn, obstinate light flashed in her eyes. "How can I be quiet when Shikamaru is insulting Sasuke-kun!" 

Holding his cigarette out to one side, he thinned his lips and stared at her in silence. 

Crossing her arms under her chest, Ino swelled to twice her size and grumbled, "I can't believe you're siding with him. You _always_ side with Shikamaru." 

Tired of his name being spoken in venomous terms, Shikamaru glanced toward Ino and drawled, "Maybe if you ever made some sense he'd side with you." 

Chouji watched them interestedly, steadily shoveling food into his mouth, as Ino exploded. 

Pulling himself to a fully upright position, Asuma sighed and waved a hand toward the children. They could be so trying. It was probably a good thing that he would never get married and have his own. 

"Knock it off. I'm going to have serious indigestion if you don't." 

Ino pierced him with a scathing look and retorted that his indigestion could stuff itself. 

Tossing his cigarette absent-mindedly, Asuma leaned forward and rested both hands on his knees, bringing his face level with Ino's. He stared at her for a few beats, amused by her somewhat cautious expression, but said nothing. 

The suspense was too much and she blurted, "Well?" 

Asuma's lips thinned and reached behind his head, massaging his neck with one hand. When he figured she had squirmed enough, he stood and stretched, still ignoring her question. 

"I'm finished eating. Let's go train." 

Chouji made a startled noise and hastily pocketed several articles of food. "I'd rather stay and eat." 

Shikamaru grinned fondly at his best friend. "Train well and Asuma-sensei will treat us to dinner. Right?" 

When Shikamaru's eyes slid smoothly to his teacher's face, Asuma arched one dark eyebrow at him. Shikamaru knew very well that the only incentive for Chouji to train was more food, and he was exploiting his teacher's pocketbook because he also knew that Asuma would go to any lengths to get them all in one place, training at the same time. 

What he didn't know was that no matter how ridiculous the request, if Shikamaru asked something of him, he did his damndest to see it happen. That was his only weakness as a person that he could readily identify, and it was lucky for him that Shikamaru was content with very few things in life. Otherwise, people would begin to notice that while Ino's requests were frequently denied and tossed aside, every one of Shikamaru's was granted. 

That certainly would have been fodder for the old ladies of Konoha to gossip on. 

Meeting Shikamaru's eyes, Asuma telegraphed that he knew exactly what the boy was about before shrugging and replying, "Sounds like a deal. Only if you all work your padded little behinds off, though." 

Shikamaru's lip curled as he stood and stretched. "Working is so troublesome." 

Asuma reached out and smacked him on the back of the head, lightly. Shikamaru scowled and massaged it for show, muttering, "You call that incentive?" under his breath. 

Sliding his hands into the baggy pockets of his jounin pants, Asuma jerked his chin toward the doorway and commanded them all out. They obeyed, reluctantly, as all three had things they would rather be doing than hanging out at the training grounds. 

Sometimes Asuma thought he had been cheated when his cell had been assigned. Ino was so boy-crazy that it was almost pathetic, and Chouji would have been perfectly content to spend his entire life in front of an all-you-can-eat buffet. Shikamaru was lazy, it was true, and infinitely preferred a long nap to grueling training sessions, but Asuma could forgive him that because he was the most advanced of the three students. 

Well, that, and he had a soft spot for Shikamaru. 

Damn sentiments. 

He nodded and smiled at the waitress as she waved them out of the restaurant and tried to suppress a groan when she pinkened. Women hardly needed any encouragement when it came to men, and it was downright disheartening. He hated having to explain that he wasn't interested in a relationship, and he wondered idly if he should stop frequenting this restaurant as often as he did. It had good tempura, though, and he liked how accessible the training grounds were from its doors. 

He could live with hiking a little farther if it saved him another embarrassing scene with a female, though. Sometimes they got downright emotional, and he had never been a man that could deal with tears or the like. He had little patience for that sort of thing. 

Tilting his head back to the sky, he watched the clouds drift lazily across a backdrop of baby blue, and he grinned, knowing that Shikamaru would have found great pleasure in whiling away his evening in a patch of cool grass watching these same clouds weave a path across the sky. Maybe if they were all good he would let them go early so that Shikamaru could do just that. 

Glancing down toward the hunched in shoulders of his favorite pupil, he watched him kick a rock lightly as he slouched along, and his mouth twitched into an unintentional smile. Shikamaru didn't look very happy at all about this impromptu trip to the fields. 

Yeah, he would probably let them go early. That way, Ino could chase down her broody-eyed crush, Chouji could snack while he waited for dinner, and Shikamaru could have a pleasant afternoon nap. 

He supposed he was no worse than Ino when it came to tripping over himself to do things for his 'crush'. 

Shaking his head, he reached for another cigarette and lifted it to his lips, cupping one hand around the end as he lit it. What was the world coming to when grown men started acting like teenage girls? 

Asuma sure as hell didn't know, but maybe he wasn't supposed to. Maybe it was enough just to continue on as he always had. Nothing could ever be gained, but then, nothing could ever be lost, either. 

He was a coward of quite possibly the worst sort. 

Ah, well. He had been called worse in his lifetime. He could live with being a coward as long as his little secret was safe. 

What nobody knew certainly couldn't ever hurt them. 

_I am going to Hell. _

My sister is going with me, since she's the one who made me write this. 


End file.
